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Some want the freedom to be close and comforted; others want the freedom to be autonomous and unfettered.

It's essential that you and your partner each know your own needs and wants, communicate them, and then understand each other.

Harris popularized the concept of "courting" as an alternative to regular secular dating, and in doing so has caused discussion regarding the appropriateness of his solutions to regular dating as well as the foundations on which he bases his reasoning.

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In doing so, he argues, people put up a façade in an attempt to appear to be what the other person wants, and this hampers the "getting to know you" part of dating.

In an interview with Family Christian Stores, Joshua Harris indicated that "people have taken the message of 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye' and made it something legalistic -- a set of rules.

That's something that's beyond my control and it's disappointing at times...

* One may threaten to leave in order to get his or her way.

* One wants more together time and the other wants more space.

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