I have tried a combination of online dating, speed dating, professional singles events, volunteering, happy hours etc. I thought that online dating would be great since you are essentially pre-screening people for dates.I have found that I get no responses from any women online and the only women who respond to my ad are usually much older and don’t meet any of my criteria outlined in my profile.For those of you who don’t know, Scott Aaronson is one of the nicest, smartest, and most decent people there are.A few days ago, in response to a discussion of sexual harassment at MIT, Aaronson reluctantly opened up about his experience as a young man: I check Feministing, and even radfem blogs like “I Blame the Patriarchy.” And yes, I’ve read many studies and task force reports about gender bias, and about the “privilege” and “entitlement” of the nerdy males that’s keeping women away from science.One, that younger women are no longer interested in dating men who are even just slightly (3-5 years) older than them and sometimes want to date men 5-10 years younger then them. Alas, the women with whom he wants to get serious are 27-34.Two, women seem to be content in the fact that they are independent and self-sufficient and have a career, family and friends that fulfills them and don’t seem to be interested in truly finding a relationship. This gives men time to court, fall in love, travel together, move in, get engaged, and enjoy a few years of childless marriage before starting a family.
EDIT: This is the most controversial post I have ever written in ten years of blogging.
I find the latter hard to believe, but find this mantra in every profile of every professional woman online. What you’re missing is that what you want has absolutely no relation to what women want. The problem is that many women from 27-34 are independent professionals just like their male peers.
Any advice on how to navigate these new paradigms in the dating world? And to directly address your email, I have to divide my response into two different parts: 1) What You’re Getting Right and 2) What You’re Missing. We’ve addressed this before, from an older man who couldn’t possibly fathom why a younger woman wouldn’t want to be with him. We can complain that the opposite sex is unrealistic and passing up great opportunities – and we’d be right – but it doesn’t change that people want what they want. They, too, have a lot of dating options, are busy building their careers, and don’t have a clear urgency to settle down. Theoretically, this is when want to have time before becoming dads.
Thus, their target market remains women, 27-34 – who may not be ready to settle down quite yet.
These women still have money to make, places to travel and oats to sow.