Welcome to the lost world of Germanys redundant aristos.
NEEDY GERMAN MALE: Usually in his mid-to-late twenties, the needy German male has generally just been dumped by his first girlfriend with whom he had been together since he hit puberty. Then he realizes the solution: He needs a replacement girlfriend. Habitat: Needy German male is probably still studying and light years away from getting a proper job (Germans can stretch their university degree courses over a decade).The aristos didnt get anywhere in life by changing their ways, now, did they?Distinguishing marks: On paper, the little von or zu -- or even more absurdly, both -- tagged onto his last name is a dead giveaway youve met a man of Teutonic Sang Real.INTELLECTUAL GERMAN MALE Stop reading Heat magazine! Intellectual German Male wont be seen dead with you if you dont. Distinguishing marks: Looks and dresses like Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society." Just less American. Favorite Activities: Listening to 1980s hard rock and moaning about capitalism, the euro and the fact his rent costs more than 3 pounds a week. Birkenstock-wearing, lentil-eating, Organic German Male is right-on when it comes to global warming, nuclear power and organic gardening.Hes spent his entire life cocooned in a university, is fluent in Serbo-Croatian and doesnt own a television. Habitat: Pseudo-arty Berlin cafés with gilded mirrors and black and white pictures of Marlene Dietrich on the wall. OSSI GERMAN MALE He can say "I Love You" in Russian. For Ossi German male -- a product of former East Germany -- life was better when the Berlin Wall was still standing, or so they'll tell you. Yawn Distinguishing marks: Organic German Males usually have big troubled eyes (the planet is dying, you know).