Our advice: Be careful out there -- there is always a catch.ARISTO GERMAN MALE Daddy was the Kaisers favorite nephew. Its just a shame Germany got rid of their royals in 1918.INTELLECTUAL GERMAN MALE Stop reading Heat magazine! Intellectual German Male wont be seen dead with you if you dont. Distinguishing marks: Looks and dresses like Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society." Just less American. Favorite Activities: Listening to 1980s hard rock and moaning about capitalism, the euro and the fact his rent costs more than 3 pounds a week. Birkenstock-wearing, lentil-eating, Organic German Male is right-on when it comes to global warming, nuclear power and organic gardening.Hes spent his entire life cocooned in a university, is fluent in Serbo-Croatian and doesnt own a television. Habitat: Pseudo-arty Berlin cafés with gilded mirrors and black and white pictures of Marlene Dietrich on the wall. OSSI GERMAN MALE He can say "I Love You" in Russian. For Ossi German male -- a product of former East Germany -- life was better when the Berlin Wall was still standing, or so they'll tell you. Yawn Distinguishing marks: Organic German Males usually have big troubled eyes (the planet is dying, you know).Youre likely therefore, to catch a glimpse of him and his geeky Internet-addicted mates at higher education establishments, grubby clubs and student canteens.
NEEDY GERMAN MALE: Usually in his mid-to-late twenties, the needy German male has generally just been dumped by his first girlfriend with whom he had been together since he hit puberty. Then he realizes the solution: He needs a replacement girlfriend. Habitat: Needy German male is probably still studying and light years away from getting a proper job (Germans can stretch their university degree courses over a decade).
Intellectual German Male whiles away time by writing books, reading esoteric academic papers, starting discussions about German philosophers while smoking strong French cigarettes, drinking espresso, reading the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung and eyeing up diaphanous, high-cheek-boned French women. They are fond of saying things like, "The country I come from doesn't exist anymore." What happened to that good old collectivist spirit, eh? Often has an unhealthy obsession with stonewashed circa 1983 denim, Trabant cars and the German Baltic Sea coast. He may also have dreadlocks and often wears a scarf even when the sun is shining.
Favorite Activities: Hiding copies of "The Da Vinci Code" in bookshops. The Catch: Every time you try and talk to him, hell be too busy reading or having important thoughts." The truth is: Intellectual German Male is probably a misogynist and, frankly, you never had a chance. Habitat: Look for Organic German Male in organic supermarkets (by the Tofu) and at anti-fur or anti-America demonstrations.
Favorite Activities: Planning your future life together. Hes needy, a fussy eater and probably has a peanut allergy to boot. If you really want to date one: Start wearing dungarees, now.
If you really want to date one: Prepare to become mom. ORGANIC GERMAN MALE My, my, this German male is a healthy guy.