Men and dating

I get the impression that people outside my inner circle wonder if I’m lying and that maybe he picked me up at a hotel bar or something cliché like that.

Other inquire whether I was purposely seeking an older man when I met him.

This alone is a reason why I refuse to go back into the dating pool with guys my own age. When I’m out, the guys I seem to attract are generally in their mid- to late-30s. To find out why, I asked a straight twentysomething male friend, who pointed out that younger guys are simply intimidated.

After all, going up to a total stranger in a bar and making an impression isn’t easy, and it takes a certain amount of confidence, which often comes with age.

Anyone who’s been in a serious long-term relationship knows the journey isn’t without certain challenges, and when you’re dating an older man—we’re talking a decade or more—things can get even trickier.

I know this firsthand, as I’m 25 years old, and I’ve been dating an older guy nearly 15 years my senior for almost four years.

He just didn’t get that and wanted to be around every second.

And while that may be true for some, a 2010 study by the University of Dundee in Scotland found that as women become more financially independent, their taste may skew toward older (and better-looking) men. As a woman becomes more confident in her own career and finances, she seeks a partner who matches that, which often is not a 25-year-old guy.

That said, there are not-so-little things that can cause friction too.

Keeping in mind what I’ve learned from my own relationship and anecdotes I’ve picked up from women in similar situations, I’ve outlined the perks and challenges of dating an older man. I get asked a lot of questions about my boyfriend’s finances (why else would I date someone much older, right? It’s not actually anybody’s business, but I can tell you that I’ve never dated anyone because of money.

People are shocked when I respond “mutual friends.” How could a girl in her early 20s be friends with people in their late 30s?

Well, I was (and still am) friends with a select crew of musicians and creatives in Los Angeles, and my boyfriend happened to be a part of that scene.

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