Are you filling that space of the with worry, doubt, and fear? Another simple but profound way to practice quieting your anxiety is to add "but I really I don't know" to every prediction of the future.Follow the thought "I can't manage this," "I need...," or "I am..." with "but I really don't know." The phrase "But I really don't know" challenges the seeming truth of everything we think.You might think she'd be ecstatic at this long longed for situation.However, for her (and she is far from alone) this recognition of expanded possibility is followed by a fear of receiving.For her and for others, having needs met can be fraught with unanticipated pain."What if I get used to this, and then he leaves me? It's better not to let it happen."So often people burdened with this fear at receiving have a deep belief that they are in fact unlovable.
He had been attracted to narcissistic women who "made everything all about them."Another woman, as she learned that her date seemed to be a great match for her became convinced that there must be something wrong with the picture.That phrase is another way of beginning to challenge the negative beliefs behind the anxiety.Repeating the words "but I really don't know" allows us to question tightly-held ideas.The advertising copy for the popular book, Dating for Dummies by Joy Brown is, "Whether you're young and haven't dated much or older and have been out of circulation so long you've forgotten how to flirt, dating can be intimidating."Youthful Inexperience or adult lack of recent practice, however, are not the central issues with dating anxiety.The core concerns are about the answers to the questions "Are they going to be good for me? " Both worries rear not only their ugly heads, but their ugly trunks and legs.