You can let your “freak flag fly” as they say in (I love that movie).
And because of that, even if your friendships are fewer, they’re more meaningful. Those friends who have weathered the storm with you will always be there. And my sense of humor has taken a downward turn into the land of Sick and Wrong.
I am 80, so I am a native now – I can speak for both old age and widowhood. Old age ambushes you; it creeps up, you knew vaguely that it was around, and then suddenly it has you by the neck.
I have been on my own for nearly 15 years, after a 41-year marriage.
They don’t feel like there is anyone who will understand what they’ve been through and accept them for it.
Shoot…I remember thinking, “What if I meet someone and we’re talking and I…
“Marital status”, says that box on a form and, crossly, I tick “widow”. It has its stereotype reflections – Widow Twankey, the Merry Widow, not to mention the foxy lady of the Scottish Widows advertisements, who looks as though she is not likely to remain alone for long.
It sounds dour, resigned – the Victorian matriarch springs to mind, head to toe in black, and after all if anyone made a bad job of widowhood it was Queen Victoria.