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Either Bilal and Meena can both bring their boo’s, or no boo’s allowed at all. Dating an Afghan man is like signing your life away. Because our community does not raise those loving, supportive, and respectful men I mentioned. So I’ma take a seat in the single-girls section until I meet a man of color that isn’t a hypocrite.

The community often looks at those who marry outside the race with disapproving frowns. The risks, the drama, the perception by the community is social suicide. And there are some sisters who get respect, but more often than not, they are only respected if they fit the definition of a pious Afghan, Muslim girl.

But I am still not convinced that our men are any better. Being from the first generation, and having a huge Afghan family and network, I feel like I have a pretty good idea of the current state of Afghan-American relationships.

In conflict zones, people find outlets to deal with the extreme stress regardless of the circumstances.Woman in Kabul " data-medium-file="https://scstylecaster.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/afghan-essay.png? After graduating from college in Scotland, I returned to the US but struggled to find a job in the fields I studied: Persian and Arabic. w=670" data-large-file="https://scstylecaster.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/afghan-essay.png? w=150&h=84 150w, https://scstylecaster.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/afghan-essay.png? w=670&h=377 670w, https://scstylecaster.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/afghan-essay.png? w=768&h=432 768w" sizes="(max-width: 960px) 100vw, 960px" / I was 24 when I moved to Kabul, Afghanistan.This is by no means a be-all, end-all guide to dating in the Afghan-American world. But it goes a little something like this: If you are an outgoing, social, “modern” (I hate that word), ambitious, Afghan-American woman – honey, you better compromise. See, some Afghan-American men are a false advertisement: he wears Ralph Lauren, drives a nice car, has an active nightlife, but has the mentality of a Talib on crack. Everything about him will scream “American”, “open-minded”, “accepting” “non-judgmental”, but his actions will speak louder than his Instagram page.He is just as close-minded as your cousins back home. Most Afghan-American men I know pick and choose what they want from both cultures that benefit them the most, and expect their partners to bend, jump, and cartwheel into their conformist, archaic ideals of what it means to be a quintessential, coy and modest Afghan girl.

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