Then you meet a person who drinks but not excessive, and they don’t become a different person once they’re intoxicated.
Your mind then comes to believe that drinking is not the deal breaker you once believed it to be.
Then you find you are ok with shouting matches with your partner where, before, you always wanted a partner that communicates their feelings in a clear and non confrontational manner; you have compromised your core definition of happiness and that colours what true love looks like in your eyes.
This is the history of statements like ‘ he only beats me because he loves me.’ This is the change that often leads to grief.
One compromise leads to another and another and another, ad infinitum.
Conscious and Unconscious Compromising It’s as simple as always having had a declared resolution to never date a person that drinks.
Once you accept this trait in one person, that emotional barrier is broken and that becomes a trait that is acceptable to you in a mate.
Your belief system is what keeps you focused on your life goals.Similarly, grief doesn’t fit into any of the boxes that the mind uses to process information, events and watershed emotional moments.It manifests much in the same way that compromise does.Sadly, this is not the side of a person that is always presented at first sight.You meet the charming person who listens to you and makes you laugh; you exist in a sort of bubble where you don’t see the small signs that your partner is not, at their core, a good person.